baltimore.

went to baltimore this past weekend with rooms.  we got to canton around 11 and rushed to get to the bars by midnight.  we changed.  put some fake lashes on.  zipped up our boots and were off to drink a few down as we’d had a hellacious day of being hungover.  we walked into the first bar only to realize that no females in baltmore are over 5′7 and we were easily at 6 feet in heels.  sadly no males were over 5′7 either… but at least it made it easy for us to find eachother in a crowd.  i was anxiously awaiting to be called a tall girl… 

we went to a bar called the stocking horse.  (which clearly should have been called stalking whores… they’d sell t-shirts out the wazoo)  and were introduced to a delightful little concoction known as the red bull vodka slushie.  whoever was genius enough to think of that… high five.  we ordered two with extra shots of vodka and felt right at home.  we headed upstairs to dance where i was approached by a man named kevin.  who we quickly nicknamed… kevin that couldn’t hear.  lets reinact.

“hi my name is kevin”

“hi my name is kathy”

“what?”

“kathy”

“what?”

“this is my friend ashley.”

“who?”

“ashley”

“who?”

we abandoned him at the bar and hit the dance floor to do the running man to journey.  i felt the need to buy us another slushie and round of cherry bombs.  (how our hearts didn’t explode i’m not sure) 

the bouncer (who resembled mr. t) chased us out of the bar around 1:45 and our happy drunk asses waited on our ride outside.  getting drunk in an hour and a half… solid.

we got home and hopped out of the car.  stumbing to the door and realized that just two houses down two men were fighting in the street.  like best friends fight.  with shoving and yelling and no real punching involved.  of course we felt the need to yell “hit him” from the stoop we were on.  and “if you aren’t going to punch eachother we’re going inside” they immediately stopped fighting at all and we went inside…  damn them for not fighting.  we were gunning for the guy in black.  athough if we had come out saturday morning and found a dead guy we’d have felt guilty.  of course after egging on the neighbors  we drunk dialed everyone we knew and giggled incessantly over everything.  tried to remember and sang every nursery rhyme in existance.  yes we ended up on nurseryrhymes.com on our blackberry’s and read them to eachother for like an hour.  this was of course after we played the geography game with our neighbors and inducted them into our friendship circle with the usual rhyme their name with everything we could think of.  i laughed till i cried and fell asleep.

we woke up saturday starving and forced ourselves into the shower before we left for NIH.  which by the way was supposed to be about an hour away. (it clearly took us like 3 hours to get there)  we hung out with the bff all day and then headed back to attempt to get to flemings before dinner.  room’s friend picked us up with the flemings van and we headed to the steakhouse.  where he proceeded to talk for 45 minutes face to the point rooms and i were pounding wine in attempts to make his voice fade away and kicking eachother under the table out of frustration.  finally the food arrived.  and holy hell my steak was delicious.  happiness in my mouth.  we had lobster tempura and scallops.  killed three bottles of wine and headed home.  of course we stopped to get three more bottles of wine first.  because that was entirely necessary. ignored rooms friend as much as possible and went to sleep.

all in all a pretty incredible weekend.  i heart vodka red bull slushies. investing in a slushy machine… immediately.